tubes:tied, denied and I cried.

It has been quite a while, hasn't it?

I figured I better update those out in cyber-world what's been going on with us lately.

We took the little Pepperoni to get spayed last week. When I dropped her off at the vet she was whining like crazy. When I picked her up, she didn't want to have anything to do with me, even though she was loopy and drugged up. She was maaaaad at me!! She went in heat (started her little period) last month and it drove me crazy! We couldn't leave her outside for long periods of time for fear of neighborhood horn-dogs jumping our fence and practically raping our little Pepper. The vet said we had to keep her inside the entire time. She bled for 3 weeks! (Ok girls, we thought a week was bad?! Poor doggies!) Anyway, she has a little incision on her tummy and within a day she was back to jumping and terrorizing us, like she always does. I was worried about her for a second though, because when she was loopy, it was so unlike her character. We're glad to have her back to normal, with no chance of pups, and no more bleeding.

Next... we were denied health insurance. Ever since Trav quit at Prosper, we have been insurance-less. Normally this wouldn't be a big deal, but I seem to always get the random sicknesses and have to go to the ER or be admitted to the hospital. For example: that random kidney infection I had, the ilias, c.diff, and more. SO Travis and I better not get sick or break any bones because if we do, we're in major trouble. We applied for health insurance but were denied last night. After waiting practically a month of hearing nothing, I knew the odds weren't in our favor. Travis can't get insurance through his new job because technically he's a contractor. (Did ya'll know he has a job with Ebay? He works in HR there and LOVES it). If he gets hired on permanently at Ebay, then insurance will start day ONE, and they won't ask us any stupid medical questions. We are praying sooo hard for that to happen. We won't know until the end of this year or early next year.

Lastly, I've been shedding lots of tears recently. Who knows why. (No people, I'm not pregnant!). I seem to be sensitive to lots of things lately, whether it be movies, comments, recent events, or just my feelings of inadequacy overwhelming me. I also really really really miss my sister. She has less than 3 months to go, but as it gets closer, I feel more anxious instead of excited. I'm scared that she'll judge me and think I'm a horrible person and never want to hang out with me.

I also am discouraged because we were supposed to fly with my parents to England to pick her up and now with our finances, that seems nearly impossible. We can't even afford a plane ticket for just one of us. :( I wanted so badly to support her and have her show us around her mission areas and introduce us to the people she's been in contact with. For me, it's really not about the sights to see. It's about the people, and supporting my sister. I pray daily for a sudden influx in money (I know, I shouldn't pray for that) or that we will be blessed financially for paying tithing. It's hard to be consistent in obedience, but recently President Monson said that "We don't have to have (xyz.. can't remember what he said.. fill in the blanks) to be obedient and keep the commandments." SO... instead of wishing I had x,y and z, I will continue to be obedient and keep my promises/covenants.

In spite of all these recent events and things going on, I'm surprisingly in good hopes. I have a lot of faith that everything will work out, and although I don't know how or when, I trust that God will take care of us. So while I may not be able to stop myself from crying, at least I can have a smile through the tears.