puttin' on the ritz

Ritz crackers are my friend. That's all. :(

Does this really happen? (part one)

So you all know that there's been a bug going around for the past few days, and let me assure you, this story will be different than all the rest. I'll try to make it the least graphic I can. Wednesday evening I felt very sick to my stomach and come nightfall, I was tossing cookies like no one's business. That actually lasted for a full 12 hours, it was not pretty. I thought it would be food poisoning, but I kinda felt like it was something else. I ended up going and having an IV. My body was so dehydrated, I had an entire bag in 15 minutes! It normally takes 45! They drew my blood and did a urinalysis. Come to find out, I have a freaking kidney infection! Do people even get kidney infections? Apparently I do!

I was so weak, I couldn't even hold my own weight, let alone try to get up or walk anywhere. I had a temperature of 102.5 that didn't break until later last night. I thought my brain was going to fry itself. I am very frail and weak right now, but doing a little better. Doctor said only liquids for 48 hours. That means I get to have my first meal tomorrow at 2. I might sneak and eat a saltine here and there. Real food doesn't even sound good yet. So I think I'll stick to doctor's orders. I'm on meds fight off the infection, and hopefully it'll be gone in about 2 weeks. Unless I need to change meds, because apparently there's more than one for a kidney infection! I'm so glad I had people to help me yesterday. There's no way I could have been okay alone. My mom and sister are absolutely wonderful. They came and stayed with me almost all day! I know, I'm such a baby, but I can't suffer alone! You know how sometimes you really want to punch someone in the kidney? Well if you've ever thought about doing it to me, you've got your wish... That's exactly what all this feels like. Abs, hurt. Feels like I did 5,000 crunches. Knees, sore. No explanation. Throat, yuck. And kidneys? Feels like they got punched. Still. You may not have the satisfaction of actually doing it, but what I've been through is much much worse. Feel better? I hope so.

whew, that was a close one!

Yesterday I was presented with an opportunity that I really wanted to accept. I changed my entire school schedule around to accommodate for this opportunity, and to give my boss more availability to interpret. This change seemed best for everyone. My boss was pleased that I gave her more availability, the people were happy that offered me this opportunity, and I was glad I could still take my 4 classes. I hastily made the decision. I was surprised that everything fell wonderfully into place and I was able to make the change. It seemed to come as a blessing.

As the evening wore on, I felt horrible about this decision. Well horrible is an understatement. I felt physically ill about it. I wanted this opportunity and I knew it would give me experience. Not only that, but this opportunity could lead to several others. However I knew I had to turn it down and change my schedule back to the way it was. I didn't want to, but the Spirit was so strong, I couldn't ignore it. I would much rather face my boss, turn down the job and live with the consequences than ever experience that feeling again.

All I could do was hope that the Lord would be merciful and not let me experience too much of a hard time from making the wrong decision. I felt bad enough for making the wrong decision without consulting Him first. I changed my class schedule immediately. I wasn't able to completely change it to the original, because people had already taken my spot in the classes. I still have the same classes, just at a slightly different time. Tender mercy #1. I emailed my boss before retiring to bed and first thing this morning, she texted me to let me know it was alright. She wasn't mad at all. HUGE tender mercy #2. (For those of you who know my boss, this is a big thing. She is in charge of scheduling all the interpreters at UVU and it is very stressful. I gave her a crappy schedule to begin with, I get her hopes up, and then change my mind. She was so nice about it!) Next, I talked with the people who offered me the opportunity. They said not to worry, that this opportunity would actually come up again, and that I'd be the first in mind. Tender mercy #3.

I know it seems like no big deal, but it really is. This opportunity would have changed my life, but it wasn't right. Everything is back to normal and much better. I feel so great knowing that I proved the Lord I was willing to follow HIS will, even though I REALLY wanted this other opportunity. (I'm being vague because nothing was set in stone and it needs to be kept on the D.L.) I sacrificed today what I wanted sooo badly, for something the Lord had in store for me. I may never know why it wasn't meant to be, but I am happy I didn't even go down that path. I was blessed for fixing things and in the end choosing the right. I am still being immensely blessed. I still can't believe this is my life! It's wonderful!

oregano

Today I talked with a friend who gave me an analogy which gave me great insight to who I am and how people interact with me. She told me that when she moved here she felt like she was constantly out of place. She even expressed that she felt no one liked her. In church one day someone told my friend that she was like the salt of the earth. She was special; she gave the world flavor, and that the Lord needed people like her to spice up others' lives. Likewise, my friend likened me unto salt. Or better yet, oregano.

Not everyone likes oregano, and it's okay. You don't have to. When combined with the right foods, oregano can give it just the right amount of flavor. When sprinkled on the wrong foods, it can taste horrible. Some people love it, and some people hate it. We all have different tastes and that's what makes us who we are. As far as oregano is concerned, everyone falls into one of the following categories.

Oregano lovers- These are the people who love oregano so much they put it on anything. Their car is green like oregano, they wear hats with oregano's initials and they are truly grateful for it. Others may perceive it as overkill, but to the people that love it, it doesn't matter, because to them... oregano tastes good on anything.

Oregano in moderation- These people like oregano when it's good for them. They think about oregano only when they need/want to add it in their food. In fact, they might even pass the spice rack everyday and not even think about oregano.

Oregano envy- These people (or other spices, if you will) are envious of oregano because it may be perceived as at the top of the spice rack. In actuality, oregano is right in the middle. Every time oregano is used, they hate it. They keep waiting for an earthquake to make oregano fall off the shelf/rack. It doesn't happen. They keep waiting for oregano to run out, but it never does. In their minds, oregano is perfect. Little do they know that oregano does have it's weaknesses too. Oregano didn't ask to be put up there, and in fact, it gets lonely at the top.

Oregano haters- Need I say more? These people hate oregano so much they can't even look at it or think about it. They, like the people who are allergic, will do anything to avoid it because they hate it so much. They might have had a bad experience one time. Now forever more, oregano will be on the blacklist.

Oregano fakers- These people pretend to like oregano in public. In fact, they'll even eat it when placed in front of them, or they might ask for it to be sprinkled on their meal. Why? To impress company. As soon as everyone leaves, these people complain about how bad the food tasted, ALL because of the oregano. They may even throw it up.

Not everyone likes oregano, nor does anyone have to. A word to the wise, don't be the last on this list. I think it's better to just dislike the oregano than to be fake. Don't complain about how bad your ice cream tasted because YOU put the oregano on it. Just leave the oregano alone and move on. It doesn't serve you well to talk about how much you hate oregano or how awful it is, or how you wish oregano would fall off the face of this earth. It also doesn't do you any good to pretend to like it, or assume things about it. Especially when you've never opened the bottle.

Oregano minds its own business and gets personally attacked everywhere it goes, even on people's blogs. Again, I tell you, not everyone has to like it, as wonderful as that would be, it's not going to happen. If you are not an oregano lover or even if you aren't fond of oregano, if you really don't like it, or you hate it, or you're envious of it or whatever else, all I ask is that you don't attack it, or pretend to like it. Make up your own mind about oregano but don't rally the troops against it. Is it really gonna make you feel better by attacking a seasoning? Forget about oregano and move on!

Oregano is always gonna be around. You don't have to put yourself around it, talk to it, or talk about it. Oregano doesn't care anymore what you think. It's gonna do it's job: to spice life up. If you've got a problem with that, take it up with the Chef. Oregano is considered to be one of the better seasonings out there. It's special, and SOME people need it. I guess it's all in the eyes of the beholder. Good thing my Cook loves it.

love it

...when people open up to me. It's the greatest thing in the world. Yesterday and today a few people have really opened up to me and I could not be happier about it. They all told me some personal things that are hard to talk about and I'm so proud to be the receiver. It's never easy to divulge personal information but just know that I am like a vault when it comes to this stuff. If ya vent to me, it gets locked up into the vault... Unless you wanna open it up and talk about it again, then I magically remember. :) It's kind of a blessing, actually. Today I have received yet again a number of tender mercies from the Lord. One of them being that these people opened up to me and I had the opportunity to talk with them.

Sometimes God puts us in others' lives for a reason. I LOVE finding out that reason. Today, I think I realized my place in a few people's lives. I know that as I'm prayerful I will be told what to do and how to act to truly uplift and benefit the lives of these individuals. They've already blessed MY life by just talking to me. I learn so much from them. I feel like I am living in accordance with what the Lord wants for me. It feels good to be obedient. I am being so blessed!

another long one

Lately I've had a few questions on my mind that I can't seem to let go of.

Why do bad things happen to good people?

I truly don't understand. I see my friends suffer from various trials and events in their lives and I cannot witness it anymore. Most people ask "Why me?" when experiencing something they perceive as negative. I ask, "why NOT me?" I would rather take on any of my friends trials than see them suffer. Unfortunately this entire life is a trial, and people have experiences tailor-made for them. We are literally on trial for what we believe and we must take a stand or we will fall.

I see people who are so wonderful, gracious, and kind, experience the most awful things. Conversely I see people who are so heinous wreaking havoc get away with anything, never seeing the repercussions of their behavior. Where is the justice?

That being said, here's another question... is revenge ever sweet?

Even though I cannot stand when people are awful, I would never wish bad things upon them. I only want justice. Sometimes I want revenge so badly and when it comes, I feel horrible. Most often I would have never wished that upon the person. Sometimes vengeance overcomes me, and then I become the awful one. So is revenge sweet? Nope, there's no such thing.

I think bad things happen to good people to help others (like myself) have a paradigm shift. I look up to and revere people who have bad things happen to them, yet they continue on. It's not easy, but they make it look so. There are people in this life that experience bad things to stand as an example for others. I KNOW I can be better and endure my own trials more graciously.

As far as vengeance and justice is concerned? Maybe I'll never see people get what they deserve. I might never see the heinous individual fall. Maybe God's way of "justice" is blessing me so immensely as to distract me from the horrible things around me. Maybe the Lord just wants me to be happy and stop looking for justice. Or maybe that IS the justice... that I am truly being blessed. Either way, I trust the Lord and His timetable. Things will come to fruition in His due time and all I have to do is continue to be obedient to His will.