I'm not superwoman.

I am the beehives counselor in my ward, and I have enjoyed serving in young womens now for about a year. I was called in March last year, and around the same time, I was called to be the girls camp director. Mind you, camp was only 4 months away, and I had NO idea what I was doing. I don't even know what they were thinking when they called a 22 year old to be the girls camp director! Obviously I had something to learn. I didn't learn it at the time, but tonight, I think I have.

Tonight for mutual, the girls were learning the music for the new beginnings program in March. I was asked a short while ago to teach the music for the entire program. There are 6 songs. I have never heard the music before, and the first time I laid my eyes on the music, was only two days ago. I don't know what I was thinking when I agreed to teach the music, because even though I have a piano at home, it's not tuned at all, and I didn't even hear the melody until tonight, during mutual. I technically had yesterday to prepare, but I was busy all day with school, until 4:00, then I had to take a huge math midterm in the testing center. After that I ran home, and ate some dinner. By the time I was finished with my homework, I went straight to bed, exhausted. I guess I should have prepared. My bad.

Tonight did not go well at all. I was THE ONLY person in charge. I was trying to control 25 young hyper girls and teach them the music, learning it for myself at the same time. (I'm not the best in music, although people seem to think I am?). I had to use a plate of cookies as bribery and motivation for them to learn the song. Tonight we only learned 1/3 of ONE song. Yes, it was that bad. The leaders were chit-chatting amongst themselves the entire time, leaving ME all alone. Not only that, people were becoming frustrated with me because I didn't get the timing right on a few things. I understand it's my fault; I wasn't prepared. But could they cut me a little slack? Nope, I'm supposed to be superwoman.

Which brings me to my point. I am NOT superwoman. I don't have all the energy in the world, and I'm not the best at improvising and flying by the seat of my pants. I was trying to be a good sport about tonight and not completely lose it, and I think I handled myself well. I tried my best. Problem is, my best isn't good enough for people. I don't know why, but people think they can throw anything my way last minute, and that I'll handle it, or I'll get it done. YES, I will get it done, but it'll be shotty work.

Even when asked to do something in advance, I'll most likely always say yes. I realized THAT'S my problem. I say yes to everything and then I spread myself too thin. I simply cannot do it all. I don't like it when people are frustrated with me even though I'm doing my personal best and stretching myself beyond my limits. I let everyone down tonight, and I too am frustrated with myself. Better luck next time? Nope, I don't believe in luck. I'll just have to be better prepared!

Again, I'm not superwoman. I can barely manage my 4 classes, teaching and interpreting. There are some in this world who are meant for greatness, who can handle anything thrown their way, even if it's last minute. I am not that person. I will let you down, and for that, I apologize. I'm trying my best, and that's good enough for me.