"soul mate"

(this post is more for us than it is for you. Sorry)

For all you married folks out there, have you ever wondered what life would be like if you didn't marry your spouse? Have you thought about where you would be, what you would be doing, and what kind of person you would be?

I don't know why, but I think about this all the time. Before I got married, I never really believed in a "soul mate" or that perfect person for me. I knew I would be happy marrying whoever, because I knew it would be right. Now that I look back, I really wouldn't have been happy marrying anyone but Travis.

I know. Cheesy, right? Well, it gets more cheesy and sappy after this.

With all my "prospects" that I dated throughout the years, I always tried to be what my boyfriends wanted me to be. I would learn to like their taste in music, dress more similar to their style, and be interested in what they wanted to do. I did this for two reasons: One, I didn't know who I was at the time, and admittedly, I'm still trying to figure that out. Two, I cared about each boy I dated so much, that I wanted to show interest in their interests.

Until I met Travis. The day I broke my collarbone, I was still trying to be someone else. I had borrowed a skater hat from one of my roommates, I was wearing my van's skater shoes, a skull and crossbones t-shirt, and I had only gone longboarding like 4 times in my whole life. I was trying to impress Travis. Then I go and break my collarbone!

That was a huge wakeup call for me. I decided with Travis, I was going to try something new. I was done trying to chase boys who weren't chaste, and being what they wanted me to be. So I bagged the skater clothes, and went for the pink high heels and nailpolish. I am a GIRLY girl, and I was gonna show it.

Once I tried to be more of myself (still trying to figure out who that is,) that's when the real sparks flew! I realized that it wasn't so much what I was doing, or who I was with, as long as I was confident, that's what Travis was attracted to. (duh, right?)

Since I've been married, I could not imagine being with anyone else but Travis. I used to hate when people say this, but I'm totally gonna be a hypocrite and say it right now! I truly believe that Travis is the only person that can put up with me, and the only person I can be the happiest with. The reason why?

Because he lets me be ME, and he LOVES IT.

Think about it, folks. I've changed my hair more times than a mom changes a dirty diaper. Sometimes I come home with some crazy outfits, thinking I can pull it off. Travis never criticizes me for my style, hair, clothes, or personality. I never have to wonder if my husband will like what I bring home, or like the new style I'm trying to rock. He never tells me that what I'm doing or wearing is wierd, and he is incredibly supportive. He also doesn't tell me that I've spent too much money, (even though I know he's thinking it).

Does that mean that I married someone who just doesn't have an opinion about anything? Nope, he sure has his opinions, but regarding me, I am a free bird. One of my friends calls her husband her roots and her wings. I've adopted that phrase to describe Travis. He keeps me grounded when I need to be, and he lets me fly when I want to. He's never made fun of me for my wierd habits or style, or quirks, or interests. Not once.

I am the person I want to be because of Travis. He puts up with my crazy interpretive dance in the kitchen and singing in the car for HOURS (on the way to and from california, I sang for like 6 hours straight, both ways). He couldn't hear the music. But I could. Even though I am still trying to figure out who I am, Travis loves this person. Even if I never changed for the better, he would still love me. He accepts the soul inside me, and the body it houses.

So as I think about soul mates, I've sort of changed my opinion. I don't feel like I found my soul mate and then married him. I married an amazing guy, and he has BECOME my soul mate. As pathetic as it sounds, I need him. Can't imagine where, or who I'd be without him. He truly is "the one" for me. But then again, I'm sure all happily married people feel the same way, right? :)